As a child whenever I complained about somebody from school, neighbourhood or the family, my mother would remind me of a story from Mahabharata.  Duryodhan asks Krishna, why is Yudhishthir called  Dharamaraj (I completely disagree personally, for me he was a bigger villain than Duryodhan)?  Like Bigg Boss, Krishna gave Yudhishthir and Duryodhan a task to perform. Duryodhan had to make a list of all the good people in Hastinapur while Yudhishthir had to list all the bad people. In the evening both of them had nothing written on their papers. When asked, Duryodhan couldn’t find anybody good and Yudhishthir couldn’t  find anything wrong with any one. Those days I would tell mum that the reason behind the empty lists was that both of them were too lazy to find out just to get her out of her preachy mode. After watching all the breaking news and reports in the last week, I was in a Duryodhan mode. Last night Maharaj Yudhishthir visited me in my dreams and that changed me and my outlook both.

I couldn’t see the halo behind Abu Azmi’s head till he was attacked by Raj Thackeray’s angels in the Vidhan Sabha(Police commissioner Ronald Mendonca in an affidavit submitted to Mumbai high court in 1997 had said that Abu Asim Azmi is “in close association with Dawood Ibrahim, as per police records). As Azmi continued reading his oath in Hindi despite being  pushed and slapped by the Marathi saviours,  I could picture Bhagat Singh shouting slogans against the Britishers in my head (Rang de basanti style). What a sacrifice for our national language and the North Indians! All Indians will be eternally debted to Amar Singh for gifting  a jewel like Abu Azmi to India. After appreciating the goodness of Azmi, my  problem was – how would  Yudhisthir see goodness in Raj Thackeray and his supporters (goons is unparliamentary). A bright light filled the room and my eyes opened. In a typical mythological serial style, Maharaj Yudhisthir’s soul came to my rescue. Raj Thackeray was forcing Azmi to speak in Marathi  for the farmers committing suicide in Vidharbha and the power scarcity and traffic problems of amchi Mumbai.  Raj is basically a non violent person like his illustrious uncle. Remember 26/11/08, he, his MNS or people from his clan didn’t raise a voice, what to say of a lathi or a fist against even the dreaded terrorists.  I am sure some Sadhu maharaj freshly descended from the hills of Himalayas has given him this solution- If all the North Indians in Maharashtra converse in Hindi, Maharashtra would be free of all natural and man made calamities (I am not sure which category Raj Thackeray falls in). It is the duty of everybody living in Maharashtra to speak in Marathi so that Mumbai becomes Shanghai after overcoming all it’s problems. Please forgive me if I have used the word Bombay instead of the sacred Mumbai anywhere in the post.

It is only the point of view that makes a person, a villain or a hero. We criticize Manu Sharma for killing Jessica Lal but we close our eyes to the son who is out on parole to serve his ailing mother. There must be a reason for his visit to the pub. It is possible that he went there because his mother’s doctor was a regular visitor to that particular pub and Manu went there to see him as a dutiful son. Think positive and you will see the goodness in him.  While I am trying to find out the goodness in the villainous  Ravan like laughter of the Reddy brothers of Karnataka, please share with us  any such story where people and the media are maligning our fellow brothers and sisters and ignoring their positives. It would be a great service to the great Indian gambler, Dharamaraj alias Yudhishthir.

We,  the people of India seem to have forgotten the gospel truth that  if you owe $100 to a bank, they will sue you, but if you owe $100 million, they will make you a director of the bank. Former Jharkhand chief minister Madhu Koda’s residence in Ranchi was sealed amid allegations that he amassed illegal assets worth crores. The IT department (most honest govt department according to some), which was probing a disproportionate assets charge against Madhu Koda, conducted raids in eight Indian cities at 70 places of the former chief minister and his associates. Documents relating to illegal transaction of Rs.2,000 crore were recovered from his house.The electronic and print media is demonizing him day and night.

When I heard that Income tax  officials allegedly seized four rupee counting machines in his house I was touched. Imagine all the hard work he had put in to earn these crores. How can we  expect politicians to work for the people after forcing them to spend so much time collecting, counting, converting and investing cash. He could have been saved all the effort of counting notes if all the cash would have been deposited in his mines, hotels and other assets directly. Koda had to make trips to foreign countries while he was the mines and geology department minister. He had visited Liberia, Bangkok and Dubai. Munda, the then CM instead of feeling sorry that he didn’t provide opportunities to invest black money in India complained that he went without informing him as per the protocol.  If it wasn’t a state visit Koda must have spend his own money. Where in India will you find such honest politicians where not only the ministers but their families also travel on govt expense. How many people is he suppose to inform, his father , mother, wife and  Munda also expected to be a part of the list as a bos! Madhu koda  is an adult and should be treated like one. On top of that he suffered  jet lags, ate hotel food, missed mum and dad during that period and his opponents accuse him of money laundering. I am sure the gall bladder stones for which he was operated upon were the result of all that bahar ka khana. Poor man, he is still in the hospital due to that. I trust  Rasika Koda (Madhu Koda’s father)  when he says that “Madhu is a simple human being like me. His character is clean, My son is paying the price for being one of the most popular chief ministers and tribal leaders the state has ever produced.” A son who had invited  his father to stay with him in his plush official bungalow after becoming the Chief Minister cannot do anything wrong. As  the politician who wears khadi  cannot waste public money, same way  a person who loves his parents cannot do anything  wrong (Kabir Das would certainly have written a doha on the topic if someone like Koda existed in his time).

There is a specific qualification required for different professions. In most countries people with excellent extortion and corruption skills are fit to join the underworld,  in India they are drawn to politics. It is not that an engineer is being asked to perform a brain surgery! Madhu Koda’s  assets grew from Rs 35 lakh in 2004 to over Rs 30 crore in 2009 as per his own declaration to the Election Commission. What better example do you need of India Shining ? The costliest advertisements by the govt couldn’t have proved the progress made by India and Indians in a more convincing way. We are proud to say that we are the largest democracy of the world but forget that democracy  is  expensive.  It takes huge sums of money to get elected to public office. How do we expect the poor Kodas of India to get elected if they don’t earn? A politician  is  “honest” if he takes money and delivers the promised goods. A “dishonest” one is he who takes the money but does not come through! This should be the basis of judging Madhu Koda, any other way would be unfair.

Kindly open your heart, I just saw Mr Koda’s picture with his wife in the Hindustan times, with a white and red cap adorning his head, he seems to be such a family man. The picture is able to make the women of India emotional. It is not that the poor man has taken his oath in Maharashtra assembly in Hindi or refused to sing Vande Matram, all he did was made some money which is his right as a politician. Imagine the number of people who will motivated to become politicians after hearing his rags to riches story. There are role models required, the Mayawatis, Jayalalithas and Lalus of the country are not enough to inspire the poor of the country. Let us all pray that conditions outside the hospital are soon conducive enough for him to recover from his illness and his counting machines are again put to use.

Both my daughters ran the Great Delhi Run today. I was quite surprised when they had registered for it, and the day came quicker than I had anticipated. It was a 7 km route in the Chanakya Puri area, and they both finished well within the 2 hour time limit. It was special for me as a mother because I love it when my daughters go out and do things together. Coincidentally, they were both running with injuries – so they actually walked most of the way. I am happy that they completed it.

The weather was perfect, in fact if the event had taken place even a week ago it wouldn’t have been so much fun for the participants. I followed the event on TV and at least on the TV it seemed well organized and the participants and the on lookers seemed pretty well behaved. The aerial view of the marathon made me really proud of Delhi, the city looked lush green. Chidambaram should be a happy man now, his request to the citizens of Delhi to behave during the Common Wealth Games seems to have worked. I didn’t see much of pushing and shoving that Delhi is so famous for.  Delhi ’s chances of  putting up a good show during Commonwealth Games next October seem to be improving now. Only a month ago the pessimists had declared that Delhi is not capable of hosting an event like that.

I was greatly motivated to be a part of it myself. Unfortunately my fitness would not have allowed it at all this year but I have resolved to train and be ready for it next year. I think it is a wonderful thing for our city to have an event such as this, and a great opportunity for NGOs, charities and individuals to run for a cause. I hope all the incoming resources are channelized well and that this event proves to have been a success in every way.

After a long time I re-read Leo Tolstoy’s short story — How Much Land Does a Man Need? I was touched when I read it as a young girl,  I still found it relevant. It is a very simple story about a greedy Russian peasant called Pakhom who wishes to amass land. He receives a very tempting offer from the landowners, the Bashkirs. For 1000 rubles, Pakhom could walk around as large an area as was possible, starting at daybreak. The deal was that if he reaches the starting point by sunset the entire land covered by him would be his. Pakhom overdid it.  By the evening Pakhom  realised that he has come very far and  frantically ran as fast as he could to get back to his starting point in time. When he got there he was so exhausted that he dropped dead. The Bashkirs buried him in a 6ft x 3ft plot — an ironic answer to the title question.

I don’t know if I would even bother about answering questions like-  what are we here for, does life really signify anything and is there any purpose to our existence? I don’t know if anyone  knows the  answer. Philosophers and thinkers have described ‘life’ in different ways, some call it  a journey, some call it  a mystery, for some life is totally meaningless. For me life is a gift and we should live it fully and enjoy the journey.

500 posts, 5723 comments, 153,371 hits, 24,381 spam comments, 615 categories, 445 tags over 2+ years  and I am still enjoying it. This is unbelievable, I’ve never stuck with any interest or hobby for so long. Through this post I want to express my gratitude to all my friends who visit and read my blog. I never expected my writing to be  recognized by a panel of credentialed experts or  to be published in some prestigious journal but the fact that so many people over the years came to my blog and read what I had to say means a lot to me.  A couple of my posts have been mentioned in reputed national daily newspapers but the credit for that definitely goes to search engines and not my creativity.

I was forced into blogging by my daughter who thought I needed a better vent than her helpless ears for the opinions I have about everything on earth. She started a wordpress account for me and informed me that she has told all her friends that her mother has started a blog and now I have to write something. I started getting comments on my “Hello World!” post while she flew off to the middle east, and I knew there was no way out. But I am thankful to her for introducing me to this new world. For someone like me for whom the only use of internet was to read online newspapers and occasionally email, it was something very new. Interacting with people from all over the world and knowing their reactions and listening to their side of the story was an eye opener for me. I’m especially grateful to my young friends from Pakistan who have helped me understand their point of view in all the controversies regarding Indo-Pak relations or sometimes even religious affairs. Young Pakistani boys and girls are very much like their Indian counterparts and their comments have always confirmed that for me.

Initially I wrote my opinions on everyday affairs like terrorism (oh the tragedy of calling terrorism an everyday affair) and recipes from my kitchen. Slowly and hesitatingly, I stepped into things closer to my heart, like sports, family, my dogs, politics, etc. I used to depend on my daughters to help me figure out basic things (like, how to use firefox because I’d only ever used explorer before…) but thankfully I grew with my blog. I could never have imagined that people other than my daughter’s friends would be interested in what I wrote (and I also didn’t anticipate the reverse, that I would start writing about things my daughter wouldn’t care to read!). But it’s been a wonderful journey.

This morning my daughters and I sat down to make rangolis for diwali, as is our annual tradition. We did not make elaborate designs this year as in past years, because both my daughters are unwell. But when we had finished making the rangolis and taking pictures, my younger daughter decided to celebrate my 500th blog post by starting her own blog again, and she uploaded some of our photos as her first post. The highlight of that was when she – who had introduced me to wordpress but had lost touch with it herself – asked me, “Mum, how do I upload a photo to my post?”. It was great fun updating her on all the changes wordpress has seen since she quit blogging.

Thanks again everyone who’s visited, encouraged me and helped me grow as a blogger. A very happy and prosperous Diwali to all.

After Rakhi Sawant and the endless  will she- won’t she controversies, Rahul Mahajan is ready for a Swayamvar. There is another programme currently being broadcast on Star Plus called Perfect Bride in which apart from prospective bride and groom, the prospective mother-in- law is also involved. It seems that reality shows based on marriages are the current favourites.

While surfing different entertainment television channels, I heard a Sanskrit Shlok on NDTV Imagine which went something like this – Karyeshu Dasi, Karaneshu Manthri; Bhojeshu Mata, Shayaneshu Rambha.. I can hear only this much, after that something else begins. This Sanskrit shlok seems to be the theme of a popular programme . As far as I can understand this shlok means- that an ideal wife works like a servant, advises like a minister, feeds like a mother, makes love like Rambha (a beautiful courtesan in Indra’s darbar) and the expectations go on.. I am sure the expectations are much more from the wife as the shlok continues. This shlok depicts the expectation of an Indian male thousands of years ago, I tried to imagine what a typical Indian male today expects from his wife! I don’t know of any Sanskrit shlok depicting the expectations of a wife so I can’t imagine what a woman in those days expected from her husband. I can try to imagine a young woman’s expectation today from her spouse.

In a culture like ours  marriages are considered to be the make or break moment for the person, his parents and upto a certain extent his or her extended family. What makes two different people risk their whole life, peace of mind and happiness is a mystery to me. I took the plunge more than a couple of decades ago and am quite happy about it. Now when I look back I consider it youthful recklessness. Mine was a an arranged marriage and there was very little in common between the two of us, I guess it was a typical case of opposites attract. We are still very different and I am sure if given a chance we will choose each other as life partners (only life partners, in any other situation we don’t think alike at all )  The post is not about me, it is about young boys and girls of marriageable age.

After going through different matrimonial sites I realised that physical appearance is fairly high on most people’s  lists when they go looking for a suitable wife. The mothers I am sure are looking for adeptness with housework. Family background is important for both the parents. For girls in general, compatibility in mental, physical, and material spheres seems to be more important than anything else. Usually in arranged marriages physical and material considerations  i.e. ethnicity, family background, education, looks, etc. seem to be more important than other factors. Practically speaking, other than these there is hardly any thing one can judge before meeting the prospective groom or bride many times.

Relevant questions  which could matter could be-  Do you squeeze the toothpaste tube from the bottom or from the middle or do you replace the lid of the toothpaste after use? How fussy are you about food or are you willing to help your wife in the household chores? Civic sense and etiquettes should be high on the list.

A couple of days ago I  was visiting a friend in the hospital. I had opened the door to enter the gallery leading to her room when a young man just walked through the door as though it had been opened for him without even smiling, nodding or saying thank you. I don’t expect chivalry from young men anymore but this looked rude. A young man I know used to say that the person he was looking for should be young, not very well educated and completely malleable. He  said, he would prefer a small town girl to somebody  from a metro because they are ready to adapt to the new family better. I haven’t met him after he got married but I am curious to know how is he faring in his role as a husband. Another young boy I met wants to marry a well educated girl, MBA or any other professional qualification but wants her to stay at home and manage the house. When I asked him why does he want a professionally qualified girl if he is looking for a home maker, his answer was that he has a reputation to protect. A typical MCP I thought! There is no dearth of boys and girls living in the world of their dreams and waiting for their made to order spouses.

It is said that  matches are made in heaven and solemnised on earth, If it was true there should have been no breakups and no divorces. There are no guarantees!

Thanks everybody for your good wishes. The exhibition was a great experience and an eye opener in many ways. I sold my creations, lots of them, but realised that commerce is not my thing. It was nice to know that unknown people appreciated my effort. The fact is,  that when ever somebody was buying a hand painted box or tray that a friend or a member of my family had appreciated I thought, I  would have been happier to  gift it to her or him.

There were some very interesting incidents. I had exhibited small Ganpati paintings which I had displayed keeping the coming Diwali season in my mind. A young man was interested in buying one of these. He asked the price and I quoted it. After consulting his wife he started bargaining, which made me uncomfortable. This guy told me that the painting wouldn’t have cost me much because it was handmade and I will still be making  money if I sold it at a lower price. But it wasn’t about money. Not knowing how to react, I thought of my friends and relatives who appreciate my humble gifts on Diwali and display them in their houses. I don’t regret not giving it at a lower price, it is more rewarding to give things for free than to give them for cheap.

The whole experience was like a picnic. My husband, kids, their friends, my friends all visited me there and tried their marketing skills. We all had a blast. Shared different types of cuisines, food and drinks  available in the mall. It was great entertainment and was worth all the effort.

I will be launching a line of handpainted Diwali handicrafts at the Select Citywalk Flea Market on Wednesday 23rd September. It would be my pleasure to have you there.

In the film  Lage Raho Munnabhai, in a radio show a girl asks the newly reformed  hero, how to assess whether  a boy is worth spending life with. The hero who is a street thug turned Gandhian advises her to observe how the boy addresses the waiter on their date. If he is rude to the waiter,  he is not worthy of her attention and  she should forget him. I agreed with his opinion. The sight and sound of a young man treating not so rich  people is not a pleasant sight for anyone.You can witness this abominable behaviour all the time in Delhi at least, I am sure it exists  in other parts of the country as well.

India’s rapidly expanding economy has created a new class. This new middle class is  driven by ambition, is consumer-oriented, forward-looking and ambitious. It consists of  prosperous farmers, white-collar workers, business people, and all others who are working towards a prosperous life. They own big cars, latest models of televisions and mobile phones, reasonable earnings, substantial savings  and educated children (fluency is English is the criteria of literacy in most cases). The benefits of a booming  economy is  filtering down to ordinary families and  there has been a massive and  sudden  cultural shift which has led to certain changes in the value systems, which we Indians keep so close to heart. There is nothing wrong with consumerism and earning money but the arrogance which sometimes comes with money needs to be checked. I don’t have issues with the nouveau riche flaunting money by acquiring palatial homes, furnishings, and vehicles, it is their money, they have earned it and have every right to do what they want to as long as they don’t hurt anybody. A young man driving a BMW like a maniac, honking and swearing is not a comforting  sight. Young and not so young cutting queues at a shopping mall need to be told that just because you have money you cannot stop respecting other people’s rights. I have seen young kids treating their domestic helps and drivers  rudely. A teacher from a public school was recently complaining- “When we were in school, we used to follow what the teacher told us. Now the children question the teacher. They really don’t listen.” Values have changed, both for better and for worse. Lot of youngsters are willing to work harder than their parents did, and that’s good but they have also learnt to get their work done at any cost, they have learnt to bribe. Unruly assertiveness has become a part of their lifestyle. Road rage, sexual harassment, insensitivity towards the weak and vandalism is increasing.

Anti- social behaviour needs to be changed, parents and grandparents have to make sure that they provide good value system to their children apart from those wads of cash that they so proudly give them. Sometimes kids obsessed with money and drunk on money power need psychiatric treatment so that ordinary mortals can live in peace. Bribing the kids may be a easy short term solution to keep the young people happy but for their life long happiness you need to give them quality time and moral values. We used to have a moral science class when we were in school, I  wonder if schools still teach moral science.  It is needed now more than anytime before.

]]> http://pr3rna.wordpress.com/2009/09/12/nouveau-riche/feed/ 31 Prerna http://pr3rna.wordpress.com/2009/09/02/realism-is-a-corruption-of-reality/ http://pr3rna.wordpress.com/2009/09/02/realism-is-a-corruption-of-reality/#comments Wed, 02 Sep 2009 05:51:04 +0000 Prerna http://pr3rna.wordpress.com/?p=1633 ]]>

Three prisoners were presented by a wizard to his king. The first was caught cursing you, the wizard told the king. “Off with his head,” the king ordered. The second was caught stealing bread. “Feed him to the lions,”said the king. The worst of all, the third man was caught falsifying documents, money laundering and pilfering huge amounts of money  in corporate loans. “Hire him,” roared the king. This seems to be the situation when we talk of corruption in South Asia. In the 2008 report of Transparency International, India is at number 86, China is a little better than us at 73,  Sri Lanka is at 95, Pakistan at 136 and  Bangladesh at 147.

A few days ago Prime Minister Manmohan Singh lamented that corruption was hurting India’s economic growth and discouraging investors from coming to the country, he was addressing the 17th biennial conference of CBI and State Anti-Corruption Bureaus. This is only too true, nobody can deny that, but will that statement make a difference?  Former Home Minister and present chairman of the National Commission of Scheduled Castes and Scheduled Tribes, Buta Singh’s son Sarbhjot Singh was arrested and charged with corruption recently. CBI accused him of having approached the accused in a criminal case, offering him a compromise over alleged crimes against members of a “scheduled,” or low caste. This is not the first time Buta Singh and his sons were in the middle of  a controversy. When Buta Singh was the governor of Bihar,  his sons, Sarbhjot and Arvinder (Lovely and Sweety)  were accused of corruption and of using their father’s office, connections and influence for illegal profits. Buta  Singh himself was convicted  along with former Indian Prime Minister Narasimha Rao  in the Jharkhand Mukti Morcha bribery case in 2000. The Delhi High Court acquitted both Rao and Singh in an appeal in 2002  as the court found the testimony of one of the prime witnesses in the case, Shailendra Mahato unreliable. Buta Singh soon regained his lost position. If the PM is serious about tackling corruption we should see some action against Buta and sons soon. Not likely,  if we consider the time taken by the CBI to decide when Buta Singh will be interrogated.

We have gradually accepted that there will be corruption, scandals  and disasters along with some good things in a democratic set-up. News of ministers, bureaucrats and black sheep in the corporate world doesn’t bother us that much. From Harshad Mehta to Ramalinga Raju of Satyam, from Laloo Yadav to Shibu Soren,  the list of allegedly corrupt people  in our part of the world is endless. We are getting immune to it.  When we talk of cash for vote scam in the Parliament, the discussion in most forums  focuses on which political party is to be blamed and not on how the leaders involved went scot free. However, corruption that still hurts and bothers me  is when  in a govt hospital a poor woman struggles to get treatment for her kid or  when admission is denied to a deserving candidate because he can’t afford donation for building funds for a school. Instances of Metropolitan Magistrates issuing bailable arrest warrants against individuals of whose identitites he has no idea, in return for an inducement embarrass me as an Indian. A few years back, a Metropolitan Magistrate in Ahmedabad issued bailable arrest warrants against the President of India in return for an inducement of Rs 40,000.

A major initiative to tackle corruption in high places came this month from the Supreme Court. The  judges made it mandatory for themselves to post their financial assets on an official website. High court judges are expected to follow the example. This  is a very small beginning.

At the core of the issue is the inability of the country to deal with corruption. Lawmakers and lawbreakers equally depend on corruption for their survival. We are unable to deal with corruption  because we have accepted corruption. There is a huge uproar in the country when our cricket team fails to perform. The recent mess in the Delhi Cricket association was sorted out within no time. Virendar Sehwag and some other popular cricketers had raised their voice against rampant corruption in the selection of  the Delhi Ranji Cricket team. This proves the fact that when the nation feels strongly about an issue nobody can afford to take it lightly. We don’t expect or demand the same  standards  from our leaders, businessmen, bureaucrats, teachers, cops or any other category of professionals as we do from our cricketers. The day we do corruptions levels will come down.