I love kids and have raised two kids of my own. In retrospect it might seem to be the toughest job on earth but I actually loved every moment of it, playing with them, talking to them, celebrating birthdays, deciding the menu for their parties, buying or sometimes even making return gifts for their friends and receiving at least 20 hand made cards from my kids on my birthdays and many more such events. The whole purpose of this preamble is to prove that I love kids and admire the patience and perseverance of the parents of young kids and please don’t hate me for writing this post.
Most young parents, especially first time parents never tire of speaking about their children. You get so bored and saturated of this topic that you are scared of meeting them even in the market. One can’t make out when the first story ends and the next story is about to begin. “People are waiting for me for dinner”, you try to interrupt, but no, you can’t leave without listening to the latest commercial that she has learnt from TV. Gathering all my patience and experience I try to listen with a smile on my face, but my patience runs out after the child stammers after the first line and starts all over again. I am helpless as the enthusiastic parents decide that I desperately need entertainment so magnanimously provided by their kid . I have no choice but to smile and applaud. The mood of the audience or tone of the conversation is irrelevant. Even if your eyes stray or you look distracted, they won’t take the cue and change the subject. The story of their gifted child is told with the same verve, animation and enthusiasm as if it were the latest gossip from Bollywood.
Anything and everything another child has achieved, their kid has already been there and done that, and they are ever so enthusiastic to tell us about it. A one year old child who has barely learnt how to walk has a potential of winning the latest child reality show because of the way he or she cries or walks. The fact that that the child’s vocabulary is limited to baba, papa and mama is not important. It reminds me of the ad in which the child is asked to say Czechoslovakia after he successfully repeats dad and banana.
Realistic sound effects and expressive hand gestures complement the narrative nicely. One is surprised by how abruptly the anecdote appears. You are talking about Asha Bhonsle and her versatility when the topic of their cute little daughter singing just before she is put to bed comes up. She loves Jagjit Singh’s rendering of Mirza Ghalib, she loves classical music and you know that she is 2 year old. She walks on her toes so she will be a ballet dancer, her fingers are long so she will be an artist . I become fidgety and restless, anxious that my precious weekend is slipping away but that doesn’t matter, I need to be convinced that their daughter is the next little champ!
from Vishesh :)
from Reema :)
24 Comments
June 26, 2009 at 11:56 am
Kids – The purest.
Mother – The best.
July 2, 2009 at 9:47 pm
if they are your own!!!
July 2, 2009 at 9:49 pm
if they are ones own!!!:)
June 26, 2009 at 7:12 pm
Oh and what is with fond parents putting their kids on the phone when you call he parents. I swear one more time, I hear gibberish, I will hang up.
June 29, 2009 at 2:13 pm
Ditto that. And I already do that i.e. hang up.
June 26, 2009 at 7:53 pm
I second Allytude..I really dislike it when parents put their kids on phone!! Grrrrr
June 26, 2009 at 10:31 pm
This is what really distanced me from kids all the while when growing up. Hats off to you for writing this post! I can never tolerate such gibberish.
Not only when just you meet the parents. Many times, entire social occasions when many relatives meet together are hijacked by a single baby. It’s ridiculous!
Now, as a new parent, I do my best not to bore others unless they themselves genuinely evince an interest and show enthusiasm.
June 27, 2009 at 12:47 pm
Yeah yeah! I have been a victim!
Its as if their child is the best creation of God. Ever!
June 29, 2009 at 2:18 pm
Not the best, the first – despite 6+ billion bits of evidence walking the face of the earth.
June 27, 2009 at 1:39 pm
yeah this happens all the time
I think there’s a fine, very fine line between being fond of a kid’s ‘achievements’ for parents (even if they are small ‘achievements’) and broing otehrs to death with it.
Uptil now I have met only one person in real life who used to do this. She would go on and on about what her two little boys did the whole day , what they ate, their homework((?????!!!))) the way they dress up and ’select’ their own clothes…
even for someone who absolutely adores kids I wanted to strangle her and rescue her kids from her
June 27, 2009 at 1:40 pm
typo
‘boring others to death’
June 27, 2009 at 3:08 pm
We were subjected to this when we were just married, we had to listen to “abcd’ and ‘1, 2, 3′ also, and we decided we’d never subject our friends to such torture.
Another thing parents do is totally not watch what their children are doing, so the kids can be dropping food on your white sofa or new carpet but parents are enjoying their evening out.
July 7, 2009 at 8:04 pm
Nice post ma’am, plus I wanted to point out it is precisely this attitude that transforms those kids into attention-seeking, insecure, pompous adults when they grow up.
No doubt, such parents will always seek their own worth in what their kids do.
Take care.
June 27, 2009 at 4:06 pm
And somehow I fear very deeply that “doting” parents of this sort become super-obsessed later on with their kids and end up messing their lives( no anecdotal evidence, just a deep seated fear.
June 28, 2009 at 9:54 am
Why should you be defensive about writing this post! I love kids too and in fact thought it was far more interesting and fulfulling than going to office everyday. I happily threw up my career and threw myself into my kids and had two within four years of each other! I enjoyed every minute of it and did it with 100 percent of my being…but I always was irritated with brats and their bratty parents. I think precisely because we are good parents and sensible ones, we don’t like the bad ones! I think that these parents don’t just show off about their kids, this behavior pervades every aspect of their life. I know a few who show off about their children the way they do about their jewellery, their status, and so on. For them that is what children are to them, some sort of status. Frankly I think this kind of behavior harms kids. It puts pressure on them, treats them like objects and they become a way parents gratifying their wishes. Selfish parents.
July 2, 2009 at 10:18 pm
Yes Nita, such parents are selfish. Children do become status symbols for such parents…
June 28, 2009 at 2:27 pm
I am totally with you, Prerna. We were subjected to a birth video once when we visited a newborn and mother. We were new parents too and imagine the horror of going through someone’s birth.
Gosh!
Before having a kid, someone older once told me that I am not very motherly. It was because like many others I didn’t pamper her kid. I still don’t pamper anybody’s kid. It bores me.
June 28, 2009 at 10:42 pm
lolz…I guess today’s parents can’t even let their toddlers be themselves!!!
July 6, 2009 at 10:01 am
absolutely true…
June 29, 2009 at 4:21 pm
Prerna
I am glad you wrote this.
Luckily most of my friends did not become this painful right after having kids. I like kids and if asked, can deal with them for hours, entertaining/ feeding/ even taking to potty. But after reading your post, I realised that these kids generally belong to those parents who haven’t tried to shove their various talents down my polite throat (although once I learnt, I liberally started hanging up on them or otherwise tell them that I was not interested and unless we change topics, I shall be pleased to leave to make space for their family time).
The thing is – why do friends not give this feedback to people? I have told a couple friends quietly that much as I enjoy hearing about their kids, it is eventually only of the greatest interest to them, not to me. I haven’t lost a friend yet to this honesty. But I won’t count on holding the record forever.
June 29, 2009 at 9:56 pm
Prerna:
See this for an interesting perspective on parenting too:
http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2009/06/29/how-to-divorce-new-millennium-style-and-i-love-kate-gosselin/
July 1, 2009 at 10:27 pm
Hi Prerna,
Very interesting…The first words uttered by a child is a matter of delight to its parents and I guess it is natural to share this with others.
We all do it but become painfully aware when we have to listen to some other child’s gibberish.
Smile, bless the child and move on. I guess it requires a little skill and a lot of tact to deftly avoid getting caught in such a situation.
July 2, 2009 at 10:03 pm
It is time to think why parents are constrained and cornered to exploit their childs talents to make conversations ,visits and gettogethers peppier. The person or guest sitting before them must be a big bore!!!!!aha the rains are rushing from the bangla sahib gol dakhana zone to the hanuman mandir trees! barsaath mein,hum se mile tum sajan tum se mile hum……..from the corner i can see my ex-girlie bhriend ,but i cannot sing as she is my ex ,”-bheega bheega aanchal ,ankhon ka ye kajal paagal mujhe kar diya………i am drenched ……monkey life monsoons mein…
July 6, 2009 at 10:01 am
Nice post